Wise men say that you should treat others the way you want to be treated. And I agree with these men mostly. So then it comes down to how I would want to be treated. To be honest, I've been spoon-fed quite a lot through my childhood and it was a bit of a shock for me when I had to do pretty much everything myself as a got into engineering and of course the same continued into the MBA as well though the shock had worn off by then. I've come to accept the reality that it is not a very unique wish to want to be rich or to marry a hot girl or to have the good life. Well, not that I'm crazy about it but these are indeed things I like. And I do of course want to compete and do well in difficult fields. Now, I'm not quite a McKinsey guy or anything- I'm just a normal guy so when I say these things it's not that I'm doing much towards it. That is a completely different story. Being a normal guy, I have normal levels of laziness. Which is a lot. Anyway, coming back to wanting a good life, pretty much everyone wants it except for some saintly people who for all we know realised halfway through their lives that they couldn't get it and then decided not to want it. Kittatha Munthiri Pulikkum (translates roughly to "The grapes you cant get seem sour"). Thu these things don't come easy since competition is pretty high. And with high competition, you can expect people to try and beat you at everything, everyday. Being lied to or being cheated upon are not uncommon and indeed expected out of your average competitor. This doesn't mean I've done it; but I can understand why someone would want to do these things.
And so with very little expectations from people, I've realised that just by treating me fairly a person is doing me a huge favour. Fairly means that I can trust the person to be himself and treat me as an average guy in his position would treat an average guy in my position. This isn't just because of my lowered expectations either. See, my parents and relatives treated me extremely well throughout my childhood and gave me plenty of freebies and I never had a tension in the world. But that's probably not what I would've ideally wanted. A more realistic picture of the world could've been obtained by me much earlier in life had my parents treated me like an average guy, leaving me with just honest parenting as an expectation. I'd have to do my clothes and clean stuff and maintain the house and what not. The only favour that parents should be doing for their kids is to treat them fairly. To let them grow and give them enough resources such as food and shelter to let them choose a life for themselves and help them attain it by providing support. Things such as love and emotional support are indeed very important but doing too many things for your kids might have unintended consequences.
There's another issue as well and that is the issue of sustainable behaviour. I talked about how it is good to be treated fairly and now something about you treating others fairly (apart from the advantage the person gets because of the reason stated above). For how long can you put up fake manners with another person? Things are so much easier when you act naturally. Natural, open and honest (as much as possible) behaviour is the biggest favour you can do to anyone. Don't put up fake manners (except when required- when meeting clients for instance) and don't give freebies to people. Don't take a beggar into your house and give him a grand meal. Tell him to get a job and feed himself. Else you would only ruin him and he would just search for other households or even come back for more. Can you feed every beggar on the street in the same way? When are you going to stop? With 10,15...100 beggars? Even then you may have a doubt- Am I doing enough charity? Can't I do more for them? Some wise man said this as well- Give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man how to fish and you know.. he can eat a lot. Not 100% relevant here but I hope you get the link. Life becomes so much simpler and simplicity of this philosophy is indeed one of its attractions but I do believe that it's the right thing to do as well- that's what I've learnt from my life so far. The best people are the ones that insult you on your face and crack jokes on your face.
And so with very little expectations from people, I've realised that just by treating me fairly a person is doing me a huge favour. Fairly means that I can trust the person to be himself and treat me as an average guy in his position would treat an average guy in my position. This isn't just because of my lowered expectations either. See, my parents and relatives treated me extremely well throughout my childhood and gave me plenty of freebies and I never had a tension in the world. But that's probably not what I would've ideally wanted. A more realistic picture of the world could've been obtained by me much earlier in life had my parents treated me like an average guy, leaving me with just honest parenting as an expectation. I'd have to do my clothes and clean stuff and maintain the house and what not. The only favour that parents should be doing for their kids is to treat them fairly. To let them grow and give them enough resources such as food and shelter to let them choose a life for themselves and help them attain it by providing support. Things such as love and emotional support are indeed very important but doing too many things for your kids might have unintended consequences.
There's another issue as well and that is the issue of sustainable behaviour. I talked about how it is good to be treated fairly and now something about you treating others fairly (apart from the advantage the person gets because of the reason stated above). For how long can you put up fake manners with another person? Things are so much easier when you act naturally. Natural, open and honest (as much as possible) behaviour is the biggest favour you can do to anyone. Don't put up fake manners (except when required- when meeting clients for instance) and don't give freebies to people. Don't take a beggar into your house and give him a grand meal. Tell him to get a job and feed himself. Else you would only ruin him and he would just search for other households or even come back for more. Can you feed every beggar on the street in the same way? When are you going to stop? With 10,15...100 beggars? Even then you may have a doubt- Am I doing enough charity? Can't I do more for them? Some wise man said this as well- Give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man how to fish and you know.. he can eat a lot. Not 100% relevant here but I hope you get the link. Life becomes so much simpler and simplicity of this philosophy is indeed one of its attractions but I do believe that it's the right thing to do as well- that's what I've learnt from my life so far. The best people are the ones that insult you on your face and crack jokes on your face.
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