It's no secret that selfish assholes are considered sexy by the opposite sex. Of course, the phrase 'selfish asshole' has too negative of a connotation for anyone to agree to the previous statement, but the point still stands. It cannot be generalised but in the case of most people, selfishness is considered sexy. Though they may not even know it. People fall in love with more reasonable folks as well since it may not practical to be a relationship with an a selfish prick, but the fantasies are mostly about them.
From an evolutionary point of view, this happens since people who care about themselves can actually provide things for the family. A saint who gives away all his belongings will not have any for his wife and kids. You need a little bit of selfishness to provide for your family. In a way, you are taking from the society and giving to yourself and to the rest of your family. People who are capable of doing this are naturally found attractive by us.
Now I do not imply by this that I'm into selfish females. In fact I cannot stand them at all- though the human instinct inside me tries to make me like them.
Now, you do need the intelligence, personality (good looks help as well) etc. to carry off your selfishness. So don't try to be an asshole from tomorrow and expect to get hitched :P
At the other end of the spectrum, people who are too unselfish are considered weird. This is since others tend to be either uncomfortable with your high level of generosity that makes them feel bad about themselves, or since they may consider such levels of unselfishness as fake. So it's probably safer to try and err on the side of more selfishness than the side of less selfishness.
In addition to all of these reasons to be that little bit more selfish, there's the fact that selfish people who have the adequate capability and intelligence to get things done tend to be happier. By capability and intelligence, I'm talking about a minimum level of common sense and a sense of motivation. Selfish dudes and dudettes tend to be unhappy in the short run since they may tend to get jealous etc. about others, and try to get everything for themselves, but in the long run they do tend to achieve more. And this happiness in the long run (referred to as 'purpose' by me in my previous posts) is much more fulfilling than the short term happiness. It's a little bit like investing your short term happiness for returns (of happiness) in the long run.
From an evolutionary point of view, this happens since people who care about themselves can actually provide things for the family. A saint who gives away all his belongings will not have any for his wife and kids. You need a little bit of selfishness to provide for your family. In a way, you are taking from the society and giving to yourself and to the rest of your family. People who are capable of doing this are naturally found attractive by us.
Now I do not imply by this that I'm into selfish females. In fact I cannot stand them at all- though the human instinct inside me tries to make me like them.
Now, you do need the intelligence, personality (good looks help as well) etc. to carry off your selfishness. So don't try to be an asshole from tomorrow and expect to get hitched :P
At the other end of the spectrum, people who are too unselfish are considered weird. This is since others tend to be either uncomfortable with your high level of generosity that makes them feel bad about themselves, or since they may consider such levels of unselfishness as fake. So it's probably safer to try and err on the side of more selfishness than the side of less selfishness.
In addition to all of these reasons to be that little bit more selfish, there's the fact that selfish people who have the adequate capability and intelligence to get things done tend to be happier. By capability and intelligence, I'm talking about a minimum level of common sense and a sense of motivation. Selfish dudes and dudettes tend to be unhappy in the short run since they may tend to get jealous etc. about others, and try to get everything for themselves, but in the long run they do tend to achieve more. And this happiness in the long run (referred to as 'purpose' by me in my previous posts) is much more fulfilling than the short term happiness. It's a little bit like investing your short term happiness for returns (of happiness) in the long run.
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